Preparing Anxious Children for School

The last thing most children want to be thinking about in August is the end of summer and the start school. However, anxious children may already be laying awake at night worrying about who their teacher will be, how hard the work will be, who will be in their class, and what it will be like to take the bus for the first time. If this sounds like your child, they are not alone! New beginnings can bring up worries and worst-case scenario thoughts. And those thoughts usually come up at bedtime. Here are some tips to support your child's worries and help them prepare for the new beginnings ahead:

1. If your child is old enough to write, encourage them to keep a journal next to their bed to write down any worries that pop up while they are trying to sleep (or any other time!). Younger children can make a worry box to draw a picture of their worry and place it in the box. These acts of getting the worry on paper can help settle the mind for sleep, and can open up later conversations about their specific worries.
2. Validate your child's experience of feeling worried. Validation means understanding their thoughts and feelings, even if you don't agree. You might know that they are not going to fail all of their classes, but jumping to reassurance might make your child feel embarrassed for worrying. Start by saying something like, "I can tell that you are really worried about the work being harder this year, and you are even worrying about failing. I can understand that you would be worrying about that when you are going into a new grade. I am here for you, let's figure this out together."
3. Once you know the specific worries (i.e. what if I miss the bus, or I don't have any friends in my class?), you can help your child make a plan. The first step is talking out realistic solutions. Is there anything we can do to find an answer to your question, or prepare and practice for the worst-case scenario? What actually happens if they miss the bus? Can you put in a request to be in the same class as their bff? Are there any real steps you can take together to put a rest to the worry?
4. Practice new steps together before school begins: If your child is going to school for the first time, or going to a new school, it can be helpful to visit the school together. You may be able to arrange a tour and a visit with the teacher before school begins. You can also practice the walk or drive to the school and spend some time in the school yard to help them feel comfortable with their new surroundings.
5. Get back into the school routine at least one week before school begins. This can help prepare children for the change one step at a time, so the first week is not so overwhelming. Practice the morning routine and leave the house together (even just for a walk around the block) at the time they will need to leave for school. Practice getting back on their school sleep schedule, and packing lunches together.
6. Create a visual schedule of their school routine. This can include a daily morning routine and evening routine list, as well as a weekly calendar with recurring activities and meal plans. Visually being able to see what is coming up, can help anxious children feel prepared, which can lower their worries about what will change and what will happen next.
7. Reach out for more support if needed. If your child is worrying daily, having difficulty with sleep, or has experienced school anxiety in the past, it may be helpful to reach out to a counsellor before school begins to give them additional support and help them feel ready for the new year.

Written By: Meghan Pistchik MSW, RSW