When Summer Camp Isn't 'All Smiles'

Summer camp offers amazing opportunities for children to make new friends, try new activities, build skills, and have fun! Teens can learn leadership skills and make lasting friendships at camp too. But summer camp can bring up a lot of tears and battles for many of the children we support at Attached Kids. If your child is struggling to go to camp, getting in trouble a lot, or even kicked out, you are not alone! Here are some of the concerns we hear about and some tips to support your child:

1. Difficulty with a new routine: If your child has difficulty adapting to changes in their routine and new places, here are a few tips to help ease the transition:
   • Help them get to know the new place by showing them the camp website, reviewing the activities they can expect, and practicing the drive/walk to the camp location before it begins.
   • Use a visual calendar to show camp days, home days, and other fun activities you have planned for the summer. Younger children may benefit from color-coding camp days so they can clearly see what to expect for the day.
   • Help them select and pack a comfort object that stays in their backpack at camp. They can bring it out if allowed, or just know that it is there to help them feel connected to home and to you while they are away.
   • Arrange camp sign-ups with a friend or sibling if possible.
2. Separation Anxiety: If your child already has difficulty separating, going to a new place with new people may be more challenging. Here are some things you can try:
   • Create a drop-off and pick-up ritual, like a secret handshake, to signal the separation and reunion.
   • Be clear about who will pick them up and when.
   • Talk about what you will do together when you see each other after camp.
   • Let them know how they can reach you if needed, and ask for support with this from camp staff.
   • Read books about separation together, like The Kissing Hand and The Invisible String
3. Camp Refusal: If your child is down right refusing to go - here are some suggestions to help understand and support their concerns:
   • Understand the root concern: Try chatting calmly with your child during a calm activity like completing a puzzle together, or going for a walk. Explore any worries they have about camp and the feelings they are experiencing in the mornings.
   • Validate their concerns: for example, "I understand that you are feeling worried about talking to new people at camp. Thank you for telling me".
   • Problem Solve together: Your child may have some great ideas about what could be helpful for them. Hear them out, make a list of every idea they have, and see if any can be put into action.
   • Collaborate with Camp Staff: If there is a specific activity or part of the day that is cause the most worry or dread, talk with the camp staff to see how they can help support them through those moments, or if they can offer alternatives.
   • Gradual Exposure: It can be helpful to start going to camp for shorter amounts of time or just for certain activities at first to help build confidence and feel comfortable before attending for the full day, or for an overnight camp. If this is possible for your schedule, you can write down small steps together with your child. (Counsellors at Attached Kids love supporting families with this!)
4. Aggression at Camp: It is not what any parent wants to hear, but it happens! Some children express their emotions through the "fight" response, which can lead to acts of aggression at camp and phone calls home.
   • Behaviour = communication. The adult's job in this situation is to be the detective to try to determine what is causing the behaviours and then put a plan in place to remove the cause, create a coping plan for the cause, or come up with alternatives.
   • Some common causes of aggression: fear; hurt feelings; navigating confusing social situations; over stimulation: sounds, lights, lots of people around, smells; impulsivity, difficulty with emotion regulation, hungry/thirsty/tired, rigidity.
5. Camp Removal: Unfortunately, not every camp is equipped to support the needs of every child, and we have met many children who have unfortunately been asked to leave camp. This is absolutely devastating and we hope that the tips in section 4 help prevent this outcome. But if it occurs:
   • Your child is likely already blaming themselves. There is no need to add blame, punishment, or consequences of any kind.
   • Your child is likely feeling ashamed already. There is no need to shame them.
   • Instead, offer comfort and empathy. You can ask them how they are feeling and what thoughts they are having. Allow space for all emotions.
   • Explain that it is not their fault. That their camp was not able to support them in the way they need, and that you will help them find more support so that they can be successful in camp in the future, and look for other camp options that may be a better fit for them next year.
   • Counsellors can help! Reach out for more support to help navigate this if needed.

Happy Summer Everyone!

Written by: Meghan Pistchik MSW, RSW