3 Things Every Child with ADHD Needs to Hear
As a child and teen therapist working with ADHD, I have met a lot of kids with ADHD over the years. And there are 3 things they all need to hear:
“School was not designed for your learning style.”
School was designed for neurotypical learners and they have different brains than kids with ADHD. School learning is designed for brains that can sit quietly, learn through listening, memorize boring facts and equations, and do things even when they don’t care about them at all. These are things we ask kids with ADHD to do everyday, and it isn’t the way their brains are designed.
Kids with ADHD do great with movement, visual learning, and following their interests - and there needs to be more of this in their teaching.
“Your feelings are not too big.”
One of the key components of ADHD is difficulty regulating. This means that people with ADHD feel their feelings very strongly, and have a harder time moving through their emotions when they hit. This is not “over-reacting”, it is not “too much” and it is not “dramatic”. They are genuinely feeling things THAT strongly and need a lot of help to understand their feelings and cope through them.
“This is what I like about you".
Kids with ADHD are corrected and criticized more often than neurotypical kids. This is because they are trying to exist in a world that was not designed for them, and they can’t always get it right. Because of this, Kids with ADHD can have more negative thoughts about themselves and lower self-esteem. So, I always make a point of stating the specific things I like about them to them - over and over. They need to hear that they are likable, have wonderful qualities, and that I genuinely enjoy their presence.
Walking through childhood with ADHD is not easy, and it’s definitely not easy for parents to navigate. If your child/teen has ADHD, check out our ADHD course for more detailed steps and strategies to support children with ADHD. We use videos and handouts so you can learn at your own pace, and get started implementing strategies at home right away.
If those challenging behaviours have you wondering what to do next, check out our Foundations of Behaviour online Course for many more strategies to create consistency and motivate behaviour change.
Want to go even further? Our skilled child, adolescent, parent and family therapists are here for one on one support to help you navigate these challenging moments. Book an intake call now.
Written by: Meghan Pistchik MSW, RSW | Owner of Attached Kids, Child and Family Therapist
