The #1 Reason Your Reward System Isn’t Working
To be honest, I love a good reward system. I love supporting families to set up reward systems that actually help motivate behaviour change. I see positives in children’s self-esteem and family relationships when we are using reward systems effectively.
To be even more honest, it is rare for me to hear about families finding success in reward systems. There are specifics to reward systems that are often missed or misunderstood that really get in the way of success.
The number one reason I hear that reward systems don’t work:
They are too complicated!
If we want a reward system to work - it needs to be simple. SO simple that you can remember the rules and follow it on your busiest, most exhausting day. So, how do we do that?
Pick one behaviour to motivate at a time.
Make it a one-for-one reward. You do the behaviour once - you get the reward.
Use a reward your kid actually wants and that you can have on hand all the time. Stickers, screen time, 10 extra minutes before bedtime.
Write it Down! Make a cute chart, make it simple, and track it.
Make sure you can see the behaviour happening. Like, ‘make your bed before school’. If you can see it - you can reward it. If you can’t see it - you can’t reward it.
Want to learn more? Check out our Rewards and Consequences online Course for many more strategies to create consistency and motivate behaviour change.
If your child/teen has ADHD, also check out our ADHD course for more detailed steps to supporting children with ADHD.
Want to go even further? Our skilled child, adolescent, parent and family therapists are here for one on one support to help you navigate these challenging moments. Book an intake call now.
Written by: Meghan Pistchik MSW, RSW | Owner of Attached Kids, Child and Family Therapist
