How to get kids to turn off their screens
Oh my goodness - can we talk about how HARD it is to get kids to turn off their video games, tablets and phones and do literally anything else!? This is something I hear about DAILY in my work as a private practice therapist. Parents are lost, kids are annoyed, and it feels impossible to have clear and consistent boundaries around screens!
Today, let me share my strategies for getting kids to turn off their screens when we need them to:
Make a screen-time schedule: I know, everyday is different, but kids needs routine and limits with screens that they can’t manage themselves. Set an amount of daily screentime, and a scheduled block of the day that it can be used. Write it down, keep it simple, and make it clear that we are following it.
Keep it consistent: Stick with the schedule as much as possible. And have a contingency plan - what happens if we are out during the screen time block and they don’t get their full time? Does it carry over to the next day, the weekend, is it lost all together? Come up with the answer together and write it down so everyone remembers.
Avoid loosy-goosy maybes: When they ask for more time, or if they will be able to go on - avoid answers like “We’ll see” and “if we have time”. Get clear on the schedule, the back up plan, and the no-go times. The loosy-goosy maybes almost always ensure we will be fighting about it later!
Use every screen limit setting out there! Make sure the apps shut off after their agreed-upon limit. This can help with time-blindness, and give kids a chance to put it away on their own.
Now the really hard part - getting them to turn it off when their TIME IS UP!
Use a timer: Set a timer when they start their screen time that goes off 5 or 10 minutes before their time is up. Ideally, we want the timer to be visual - like a kitchen egg timer - and definitely make noise to alert them that their time is almost up.
Set a second timer: Now we need a second alert that says time is NOW up.
Offer 5 minutes of flexibility: They may actually need to get to the next save spot in their game, wrap up a convo with their bestie, or finish their tablet sketch. So Times UP actually means, wrap it up now.
Stay with them: Stay next to them to ensure they are wrapping up their current task and not starting something new. They might hate this - but they might actually need this much help to wrap it up and exit.
Use gentle touch: This can help move their focus to you.
Use their name: Starting with their name can also help their brain to focus on you, rather than their screen.
Use simple statements: “James, It is time to save your game and put your tablet away.” “Lacy, your screen time is up, end your chat now."
Offer two options: “Either you can turn it off now or I can turn it off for you”.
Know what happens next: Have clear boundaries about what happens if they don’t turn it off. Do they lose that much time in their next screen block? Write it down in their original schedule so everyone knows the rule.
Okay friends, I know this is a tough one - for more strategies, check out our Foundations of Behaviour online Course for many more strategies to create consistency and motivate behaviour change.
If your child/teen has ADHD, also check out our ADHD course for more detailed steps to supporting children with ADHD.
Want to go even further? Our skilled child, adolescent, parent and family therapists are here for one on one support to help you navigate these challenging moments. Book an intake call now.
Written by: Meghan Pistchik MSW, RSW | Owner of Attached Kids, Child and Family Therapist
